Some people seem to handle pressure and adversity remarkably well. When things go wrong, they work through the challenge, adjust their approach, and keep moving forward. Others may feel overwhelmed, discouraged, or unsure what to do next.
It's tempting to think that some people are naturally resilient while others aren't. But resilience isn't a fixed personality trait. It's a combination of skills, habits, and mindsets that you can develop and strengthen over time.
Having spent much of my career in demanding sales leadership environments, I understand how important resilience is when you're responsible for delivering results, leading people, and navigating circumstances that don't always go according to plan. Through my own experiences and coaching work, I've also learned that resilience isn't about being tough enough to handle everything or simply pushing harder when things get difficult.
Resilience is about developing the ability to work through challenges, adapt when necessary, recover from setbacks, and continue moving forward. Some strategies help us respond more effectively in the moment, while others strengthen our capabilities through the habits and choices we make over time.
What helps us when challenges arise?
Think about a situation where something important hasn't gone as planned. Perhaps you've lost a major customer, a project has failed, or an unexpected change has created uncertainty for you and your team. Your initial reaction might be frustration, disappointment, or worry about what happens next.
Those reactions are understandable. What makes the difference is how you work through it.
Identifying and managing your emotions is an important resilience skill. Recognizing that you're upset, anxious, or frustrated helps you consider how those feelings may be shaping your response. It doesn't mean suppressing your emotions or pretending the situation doesn't matter. It means being aware of them so they don't automatically determine what you do next.
When something goes wrong, it's easy to get caught up in the problem itself. I've seen how that can make a situation feel bigger and more difficult than it needs to be. Problem-solving helps us look at what's actually happening, consider different options, and find a way to move forward.
Realistic optimism matters too. It's about being hopeful while still being realistic about what's happening. You can recognize the challenges and obstacles ahead without overlooking the opportunities that may also be there. It's not about expecting everything to work out perfectly but being able to see both the possibilities and the difficulties.
These capabilities can help us respond more effectively when pressure hits. But the skills, habits, and mindsets we've developed long before the challenge arrives shape our ability to draw on them.
Building resilience before you need it
We often don't think much about resilience until we're facing something difficult. But there's a lot we can do before those situations arise to build the skills and habits that will help us when we need them.
Trusting your own abilities is an important part of resilience. When you've worked through difficult situations before, you can draw on those experiences when something new comes along. You may not have all the answers, but you have some confidence in your ability to figure things out.
Of course, that confidence takes time to build. It comes from trying things, making mistakes, learning what works, and recognizing what you've already managed to accomplish. We don't always give ourselves enough credit for the challenges we've successfully worked through.
Having a goal to work toward can also help when things become difficult. You may need to change how you're going to get there but knowing what you're trying to accomplish gives you something to work toward rather than feeling completely lost in the situation.
We can also strengthen resilience by viewing obstacles as opportunities for growth. That doesn't mean every difficult experience is welcome or that every setback has a positive outcome. It means being willing to ask what we can learn from the experience and whether there's another approach worth considering.
These habits and mindsets build our confidence, adaptability, and ability to persevere when things get difficult.
The importance of self-care and support
Two other resilience strategies deserve particular attention because people accustomed to being capable, independent, and responsible for others sometimes overlook them.
Self-care is another part of resilience that can be easy to overlook, especially when we're busy looking after everyone else. Getting enough sleep, eating well, being physically active, and making time for things we enjoy all contribute to our ability to manage difficult situations. We can't continually neglect our own needs and expect it not to affect us.
Having people, we can turn to for encouragement, perspective, and practical support is also an important part of resilience. Those relationships are best developed and maintained before we're facing a difficult situation, so that support is available when we need it.
I've worked with leaders who are always there when someone else needs help but find it much harder to ask for support themselves. They may feel they should be able to handle everything on their own. But being resilient doesn't mean doing everything yourself. Sometimes talking something through with another person is exactly what you need.
Which resilience skills could you strengthen?
One of the most useful things about viewing resilience as a combination of skills, habits, and mindsets is recognizing that we don't necessarily have the same strengths in every area.
You might be an excellent problem-solver but struggle to stay realistically optimistic when things go wrong. Perhaps you have tremendous confidence in your abilities but struggle to prioritize self-care. Or you may be very good at supporting others while rarely reaching out for support yourself.
Recognizing these differences gives you somewhere practical to begin.
My Resilience Roadmap brings together eight ADAPTIVE strategies: Apply Problem-solving, Determine Goals, Adopt Realistic Optimism, Prioritize Self-care, Trust in Your Abilities, Identify and Manage Emotions, View Obstacles as Opportunities, and Engage with Others.
The accompanying Action Plan invites you to assess your current skill level in each area, identify what you'd like to strengthen, and decide what actions you'll take and when you'll apply them.
Resilience develops through practice
We can't predict every challenge we'll face, and even highly resilient people experience difficult periods. Resilience doesn't mean being unaffected by adversity or always knowing what to do.
We can continue building our resilience through what we learn, how we respond, and the habits we develop.
Some strategies help us through a difficult moment. Others take practice over time. Both have a place in building resilience.
Resilience isn't just about how you respond when things get difficult. It's also about what you do today to strengthen your ability to handle tomorrow.
Build your resilience with the Resilience Roadmap
My Resilience Roadmap and Action Plan provides eight ADAPTIVE strategies to help you assess your current resilience skills, identify development opportunities, and create a practical plan to strengthen them.
👉 Download the Resilience Roadmap Action Plan (short, practical, printable) to strengthen your calm, focus, and recovery—especially when the pressure hits.
👉 For individuals and organizations looking to go further, I also offer Adaptive Mindset for Resilience®, a TRACOM assessment and training program designed to help people strengthen their resilience.
