When Being the Person Everyone Relies On Becomes the Problem

Being the person everyone can count on probably helped you become successful. You solve problems. You make decisions. You step in when something isn't getting done. And when the pressure is on, you're often the person people turn to. Those are strengths. But at some point in leadership, those same strengths can start working against you. I've seen this from both sides. I did it myself as a sales leader, and today I see it with the leaders I coach.

When I was leading teams, it was sometimes easier to handle something myself. I knew what needed to happen and I could get it done quickly. But easier in the moment doesn't always make things easier in the long run. You may want your people to take more ownership, but when decisions need to be made, problems need to be solved, or something goes off track, you still find yourself stepping in. So you take care of it. Again.

The immediate problem gets solved. But without realizing it, you may also be teaching your team something: when things get difficult, you'll take over. And the more senior you become, the greater the cost. Every decision that unnecessarily comes back to you takes your attention away from the work only you can do.

A different question about ownership

Instead of asking: “How do I get my people to take more ownership?” 

Try asking yourself: “Where am I still taking ownership that should belong to someone else?”

You might notice that you're still making decisions that one of your leaders could make, and getting pulled into operational issues that shouldn't involve you—following up on commitments that aren't yours—or stepping into customer, people or sales issues before your team has had the opportunity to work through them. None of this means you stop supporting your team. It means being more intentional about what that support looks like.

The next time someone brings you a problem, instead of immediately solving it, try asking: “What do you think we should do?” And then listen.

 If they're unsure, help them think it through. What have they considered? What information are they missing? What are the risks? What would they recommend? You don't have to provide the answer to add value. Sometimes your greatest value as a leader is helping someone develop the confidence and judgment to find the answer themselves. And that's where the real shift happens. You're not simply taking something off your plate. You're helping someone else build the confidence, judgment, and capability to take on more responsibility next time. Over time, that changes what your team is capable of—and what they need from you.

Accountability works both ways.

We talk a lot about holding other people accountable. But leadership also requires us to look at our own behaviour. If you want your team to take greater ownership, you have to create room for them to do it. That may mean allowing someone to approach something differently than you would. It may mean resisting the urge to step in. And sometimes it means allowing a small mistake to become a learning opportunity rather than preventing every mistake. That's not lowering your standards. It's developing capability.

Your experience, judgment and ability to solve problems helped get you where you are. As you grow as a leader, the challenge becomes knowing when to use those strengths yourself and when to use them to help someone else become stronger. That's how you build a more capable, accountable team. And it's also how you create more capacity to focus on the work that really does need you. 

So here's something I'd encourage you to think about this week:

Where are you carrying something today that someone on your team could be learning to carry?

Originally published on Noomii, a global coaching directory. Coaching Conversations by Noomii | Expert Coaching Insights